According to a U.S. News article, many engaged couples are unaware of the finer points of office etiquette and the answers to questions like, “Do I have to invite my boss to my wedding?”
The answer is no, you don’t have to invite your boss (or any of your co-workers) to your wedding. And truth be told, there isn’t a written obligation or even an expectation that you should invite your boss just because of your career. In order to avoid unwanted stress or peer pressure, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell your boss that you have a limited budget, or a smaller venue, that requires you to limit your guest list to immediate family and closest friends.
If your office is small, it can get tricky when you want to invite a select few co-workers and not the entire group. U.S. News suggests the following two rules when extending an invitation to a collective number of individuals, rather than the whole office:
- The group of people invited should be smaller than those not invited. This will ensure that you’re not making one or two people feel left out if they’re the only ones not getting an invitation.
- Don’t make the wedding a major focus of office conversation. By following this simple, common rule of etiquette, you can avoid the expectation that co-workers will be invited if they’ve shared in every detail of your planning.
Our staff also recommends distributing the invitations strictly through postage versus in-person. We know it can be exciting to share or pass things out and see the reactions of friends and family, but it’s best to keep things completely professional in the workplace.
Also, if you’re the boss and have several direct reports, it’s key to not show favoritism. Meaning, you should consider either inviting all of your reports or none of them to maintain fairness in the office.
Keep in mind that an “invitation is not a summons,” as it points out in the article, so co-workers are not obligated to attend your wedding and vice versa. There also isn’t a requirement for you to invite a colleague who invited you to their wedding previously – even if all of your co-workers chipped in to give a card or a gift to celebrate your engagement.
Does etiquette state that the office provide a gift for the engaged couple? Because of the unique cultures of each workplace, gifts and collections will greatly depend on the norm for that company. According to the author, the key thing to remember is that your colleagues shouldn’t be pressured to donate money toward a gift for your wedding. Giving people the option is certainly fine, but it’s not polite to make it an obligation.
Do you have any recommendations or tips for couples to keep the peace at the office during wedding planning? Leave us a comment below!